Still scared

If you had asked me three months ago what I definitely did not want to do, I would have answered before you finished the question: podcasts.

I had a list of reasons ready. I don't think well on my feet. When I'm unsure of an answer, I reach for filler words. I don't like the sound of my voice. And I like how I look on camera even less.

Now, with ten or so episodes under my belt, it isn't so scary anymore.

Every reason on that list holds up, as far as I can tell. I still spend a lot of time preparing. I still worry about the fillers and the voice and the camera. But I've done it a few times now, and the world hasn't ended yet.

What changed is the evidence. I now have a small pile of proof that I can show up nervous, fumble a sentence here and there, and walk away fine. That pile has done more for me than any pep talk I ever gave myself.

Find the thing that scares you and lean into it. I'm still scared before every episode. But the world keeps not ending, and I've started to wonder what else I've been ruling out for bad reasons.